Sepp Blatter removing his iPod and looking around at the boardroom.
” We had a flare up in the Middle East. And something that Roy Keane got very excited about. Yes, yes, I know that thing about ….. pocket money too.”
Gets a call on his cell phone.
“Hello. Yes, Michel. What! (lowering his voice).Scharner scored a goal with his hand? Redknapp is angry it could have been 9-0. Its going to be tough but I told you we had a deal. No video technology, no replay and I get the Europe votes. Yes, hold firm on the extra referees thing? Got that.”
Hangs up. Clears his throat. Gets another call.
“Hello. Michel (again lowers his voice). Henry is going to name his next child Eire? That’s brilliant! France- 40 votes, Ireland – 2 votes. Got that.”
Hangs up. Clears his throat once again.
“Well our position is the same as Roy Keane who speaks for all of us. To blame Thierry Henry is not done when they really should not be training in Saipan. I mean, c’mon – how many balls do you think they lost at sea? Its a wonder they got balls at all. Air soccer? Ask Ritchie Blackmore. He came to me, Sepp- I used to play air guitar and I had no gigs. That’s when I turned to Fender, now I got gigs.”
He pauses.
” See what I am saying?”
” I like reality TV. But do you think I want to watch players sweating or spitting in slow mo. There maybe a market for that sort of thing. Maybe Ali G has some insights.”
“That’s all for now. Toilet break. Meeting adjourned.”