Following the Man City friendly (Aug 7th) which resulted in a win, Arsene Wenger had this to say: “We could see that we have played together for a while now, so there’s a good fluidity and understanding in our game … physically we look ready.”
About a week later.
After the loss to Liverpool in the Premier League opener (Aug 15), Wenger said this: “Physically we are not ready … we are not capable of maintaining the level, because not all the players have the same level of preparation.”
There are two sides to Arsene Wenger when it comes to the world’s game. The cerebral pundit hired or approached by media to opine about the state of the sport to which he regularly applies his soothsayer abilities. He was even quoted by journos on his take on Gianni Infantino, newly appointed FIFA honcho, probably the only coach so approached. He can talk passionately about financial doping skewing transfer prices off the charts, the financial fair play rules (remember those – it all seems quaint and outmoded now) restoring some degree of parity, and the role of FIFA defining the composition of the national side. There are few coaches more surefooted in the world when it comes to such matters and it is not entirely unreasonable to expect the same sort of crystal clear clarity when it comes to Arsenal, the side he has managed now for 20 years. Arsene knows best, doesn’t he?
That is where the wheels come off and have for a considerable time. The Gunners have lost their season opener three times in a row and every season, find ways to lose to their bogey teams, whether it is Chelsea, Man Utd, or some new addition to the list of clubs who must terrorize Arsenal. The result is a steady diet of nerve wracking ebb and flow, caught in a familiar chaotic swirl of injuries, laissez faire preparation, lack of leadership, formulaic tactics, and the muddled and reactive transfer policies that engender a feeling of frailness and the status quo. There is no confidence left because Arsenal have become a byline in glorious futility. Lets take the Man City match which took place on Aug 7th which saw Gabriel being carted off. Wenger received word he was out of action for the next two months. A fortnight prior, Mertesacker came to grief and the verdict was even more serious. Out till January at the very least.
Arsenal were decimated in the heart of defence even before a ball was kicked in the regular season. Still, there was plenty of time to go and test the market seriously. Given the caveats which Wenger likes to operate out of which is to heal through an internal solution. There was Laurent Koscielny, firmly ruled out already with his Euro exertion. There was some talk about Shkodran Mustafi with the player agreeing on terms and Valencia willing to sell but it came to nought because Arsenal haggled on price and did not want to pay the Liga side’s valuation. Would any serious minded coach turn towards 19 year old Rob Holding, about 30 matches experienced in the second tier Championship? To partner Calum Chambers, a struggling emergency right back (cue Jefferson Montero), shunted to occasional holding midfielder, now radically promoted to central defence? A Google Map of shifting locations? To face Liverpool? Not many. But see, Wenger believes in alchemy, the fantasist pseudoscience where no matter the ingredients, gold will be produced. What Liverpool did on opening day was no less unusual to what Aston Villa, a club flirting with relegation, or West Ham, under a new coach accomplished. As for those second half minutes in which saw Arsenal torn apart, we now have a Konrad Lorenz imprinting dished out by the likes of Man Utd, Chelsea, Liverpool, Southampton, AC Milan, to name a few, of when things go wrong, they go horribly, horribly wrong. There isn’t a club in the world, big or small, in matches which are consequential or not, that do not have the blueprint to bloody Arsenal one on the nose.
Which brings us to the bullshit. The unfortunate consequence of Trump having untold wealth or the perception of that sort of wealth and Wenger’s 20 year bullet proof job security is the generation of an alternate reality. There is no difference between those two worlds. A world where words and actions have no meaning simply because they can be twisted, conflicted, or denied, without a price to be paid. Wenger can say one day with every conviction in the world, ” the team was physically ready” and equally emphatically next day, “physically we were not ready.” The same sort of facile revisionism can be found in Trump’s bullshit about war and peace in Iraq and Libya. He was for it before he was against it.
Does one remember Wenger’s explanation for giving up set piece goals, oh, about five years ago? When William Gallas and Kolo Toure made up the defensive core. He attributed it to their lack of inches. Yes, Wenger blamed defensive frailties on being vertically challenged. Then there is the never ending saga, a decade old as to Theo Walcott’s most potent position. The Soton export was 18 years when he came to Arsenal and now as a 28 year old, Wenger still hasn’t a clue. A couple of weeks ago, in a moment of rare candour, Wenger stated Walcott did not have the defensive nous to be a winger and playing him centrally made more sense. Fair enough. Those words turned to mud as Walcott found himself on the flank against Liverpool and Alexis Sanchez at centre. Which brings us back to the question of fitness. How was Sanchez, knackered and recovering from injury allowed to play while keeping out Olivier Giroud, Mesut Oezil, and Koscielny? The same could be said for Aaron Ramsey. If Rob Holding and Calum Chambers were a new pairing, the same could be said for Mohammed Elneny and Francis Coquelin, ostensibly tasked with protecting that vulnerable, novice duo. The gap between the two midfielders and the rejiggered back line was the size of an unnamed continent, into which Liverpool gleefully poured into, scored from, and savaged Arsenal beyond recognition. There was Santi Cazorla on the bench and last season, the Spaniard and Coquelin combined exceptionally well. But Cazorla only came on when Arsenal were three goals down and had to stage an improbable comeback.
There is no difference between Trump branding his opponents as “losers” and similar fashion, Wenger dismisses fans and pundits as ignoramuses when they have the temerity to challenge him. The arrogance is the same. The goal the same. To shut down criticism. In fact, when Man Utd mauled Arsenal, 8-2, in the aftermath of countless injuries, selling Cesc Fabregas and Samir Nasri, and in general, hopelessly outmanned – Wenger played it all down by questioning the fans loyalty. They weren’t grateful enough for a record run of Champions League appearances, a new, shiny stadium, and world class players. Wenger’s finger to the fans was to sign Park Chu Young, who turned out to be a ghost in the machine.
That sort of bombast allows Wenger to without any self awareness, to proclaim himself as the one who built Arsenal through hard work and no help. Wenger is now the Colossus of Arsenal. Is there anyone to dispute him? Not the rubber stamps on the board. Stan Kroenke? The absentee owner of so many losing, neglected sporting American franchises. Interested only in his own dividends. Ivan Gazidis? CEO, and a professional marketer, selling ice to Eskimos and tasked with promoting Arsenal, a banged up dodgem; as a purring, muscular Maserati to sponsors. Sir Chips Keswick? Who the fuck is this guy? Some titled knobhead calling himself a chairman. A banker. Says nothing. Does nothing. Never seen. Not one of them is remotely interested in the club or the sport. Arsenal is entirely run on Arsene Wenger’s diktat and the board members are his apparatchiks.
Elaborating on the Wenger as Trump narrative. There was no Herbert Chapman, Bertie Mee, or George Graham. Very few trophies. The Gunners were a do nothing club till Messr Wenger came along. Trump uses the same legend in the mind trick to claim he’s a self made billionaire without help from daddy. All untrue as his father made his millions through real estate and when he died was worth $250-$300 million. Trump inherited a substantial portion, some say to the tune of $40 million, a fantastic leg up. In the same manner, Arsenal were a successful club long before Wenger’s mental perambulations.
The difference: Trump’s bullshit is plain to see. As plain as a bunch of steaming dog turds on a parched patch of grass in the backyard whereas, Wenger’s is camouflaged, all carefully wrapped up in philosophical doublespeak. The sort of turd stinking up the air, discovered at a party stuck to the shoe, just as you think you have lined up a perfect candidate that evening for a happy ending. That’s Arsenal and Arsene in a nutshell, on the cusp of glory, but never achieving success because of it’s failure to take care of the basics. Same crap, different season, would have been good enough for fourth place. But the indications are that won’t fly any more. Wenger’s peers have wasted no time strengthening their squads in decisive fashion. And with Pep Guardiola and Antonio Conte joining the league, Jose Mourinho’s return, the gulf in tactical acumen just got a lot, lot larger.